How to talk to travellers (excluding the chicken nuggeters, stay away from them).

G’day is a good start. Next question is “where did you come from” (not offensive in this context, it relates to which town did you just drive from), and then “where did you come from originally” (again, not racist, just understanding how far you have been).

If the answer to where you came from originally is the same town as you – you now have a conversation on how bad the weather is there, and how good it is to be here, wherever here is. If it is from a different town you are not interested in, you can compliment them on their mode of travelling. Nice van, usually works. We have had people ask of our small teardrop caravan, “How the hell do you sleep in there?” and this did not get the conversation off to a good start. Asking whether you fit in the van is probably ok, given that I am 6ft tall and the fan is only just over 6ft long.

If the conversation starts heading towards a dislike of the people that actually live in the town you are a visitor to, back away quickly saying you have to set up your camp cooker. The same should be said if the words “Covid” and “lockdown” are mentioned together. This conversation can never end, and no side will ever understand the others point of view. Setting up your camp cooker several times a day may happen.

Occasionally you will meet the solo traveller. Generally, they are lovely people and are to be admired to take on the venture alone. Beware though if they have been travelling solo for more than a couple of weeks. They do have a lot to say, and do realise that it must be said before the current boat ride ends or before the dishes are finished in the camp kitchen. Getting a word in to say you need to set up the camp cooker is difficult. Particularly if you are on a tour boat.